The Discipline of Being Thankful

“Can you see the holiness in those things you take for granted–a paved road or a washing machine? If you concentrate on finding what is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul.” Rabbi Harold Kushner

The deeply committed discipline of being thankful is literally life-changing. And for most, the list of blessings is long.

The problem, as humans, is we tend to focus on the things which are not going well in life.

Will Rogers once said, “The Pilgrims gave thanks for mighty little, for mighty little was all they expected. But now, neither government nor nature can give enough but what we think is too little. If we can’t gather in a new Buick, a new radio, a tuxedo, and some government relief, why, we feel that the world is against us.”

Our culture is consumed with needing more. It plays into our human nature. It’s the way marketing works. It’s the way our economy works.

There was a woman who went into a life or death surgery. She wasn’t sure she’d make it through. During the surgery she heard this voice say, “You still have 42 more years to live.”

When she woke up from surgery she called the surgeon over and said, “I’m going to live a long time now so while I’m here I think I’ll have a little extra work.”

She had liposuction, a tummy tuck, a face lift, some injections. She had a friend come by and color her hair. A few days later she was discharged from the hospital.

As she was walking out she was hit by a cab and killed.

As she’s standing before God she asks, “I thought You said I’d live 42 more years! How come You let the cab hit me?”

And God said, “I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you.”

QUESTION: “Instead of being consumed with more, have you practiced being thankful for all that you already have?”

Another thought about the discipline of being thankful is that many times we are pursuing things we think will make us happy but ultimately leave us wanting more.

The prodigal son was the story Jesus told about a young runaway boy. He shuns his dad, takes his inheritance and leaves his home with a pocket full of money and a bar room full of friends.

If CNN had sent a news crew to the bar and asked the young man, “How are you now enjoying this life of rebellion, your plunge into decadence?”

At that moment the young man probably would have said, “It’s the best decision of my life! I’ve never had more fun. My days and nights are filled with so much pleasure.”

It wasn’t until sometime later – we’re not sure how long – the runaway boy’s pleasure ended. He ran out of money and his friends ran out on him.

Living for pleasure only – pleasure at any price – is like jumping off a tall building. The first 95% of the fall might be a sheer thrill but the last 5% is going to get you!

Pleasure is not bad. But even positive pleasure is temporary.

For example, what’s the best meal you’ve ever had? How long until you were hungry again?

What’s the best night’s sleep you’ve ever had? How long until you were tired again?

What’s the best kiss you’ve ever had? How long until you needed to be kissed again?

QUESTION: “Why is being thankful not connected to temporary pleasures?”

Another thought about the discipline of being thankful, is it is hard to be grateful when you are holding on to grudges.

Author Henri Nouwen wrote, “Resentment and gratitude cannot coexist, since resentment blocks the perception and experience of life as a gift. It always manifests itself in envy.”

QUESTION: “What grudges do you need to let go of?”

Another thought about the discipline of being thankful, is it must be INCLUSIVE.

Job said, “If we take happiness from God’s hand, must we not take sorrow too?”

Henri Nouwen went on to write, “To be thankful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy, but to be grateful for all of our lives—the good as well as the bad, the moments of joy as well as the moments of sorrow, the successes as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the rejections—that requires hard spiritual work. Still, we are only thankful people when we can say thank you to all that has brought us to the present moment. As long as we keep dividing our lives between events and people we would like to remember and those we would rather forget, we cannot claim the fullness of our beings as a gift of God to be grateful for. Let’s not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God.”

I call it “Being fully alive in the TENSION.”

We were taught when we were problem-free then we would finally be happy. But a problem-free life is not even possible.

Being fully alive in the TENSION means we live every day facing reality. We feel the problems, hurts and challenges of life, while simultaneously celebrating and thanking God for all the good people and blessings in our lives.

QUESTION: “How can you move towards a more inclusive form of thankfulness?”

Last thought on the discipline of being thankful. Many times, it’s easy to lose perspective of how blessed we really are.

Stephen Covey wrote, “Fish discover water last. They are so immersed in the element that they are unaware of it. So it is with many people who become so immersed in an abundance of blessings and opportunities that they are unaware of them until they stop, pause, and reflect and allow gratitude to emerge. Sadly, too often it takes the force of circumstance rather than the force of conscience to stir up our gratitude.”

QUESTION: “When was the last time you stopped, paused and reflected on the abundance of blessings in your life until gratitude and joy began to emerge?”

Blessings are all around if we just slow down and take the time to observe.

A crisp sunrise.

A summer rain.

The smile and embrace of a special loved one.

A glass of red wine with your significant other.

God’s amazing Grace.

The food on your table.

The laughter of children.

The step you just took.

The breath you just breathed.

The sun on your face.

A celebration with friends.

Tony Campolo tells a story about getting on an elevator in the Empire State Building in New York City. “It was one of those express elevators that goes fifty floors without making a stop. The elevator was filled with briefcase-bearing, somber business men on their way to “heavy” meetings. As I got on the elevator, a feeling of fun ran through me. And, instead of turning and facing the door, as we are all socialized to do, I just stood there facing the people. When the elevator doors closed, I smiled coyly and announced, “We’re going to be traveling together for quite a while, you know.” And then I added, “What do you say we all sing?” The looks were amazing, but they all ended up singing. You should have been there as a dozen or so businessmen threw aside their put-on seriousness and joined me in a ringing rendition of “You Are My Sunshine.” By the time the elevator got to the fiftieth floor we were laughing. Being thankful on that elevator helped some men, made numb by the affairs of this world, discover a little joy that can happen when we celebrate together.”

“Emit gratitude as though it was done” Henri Nouwen

Take the time to fill in the blanks:

I am thankful when…__________________________

I am thankful for…____________________________

I struggle with being thankful when…__________________