Finding Someone to Ride the Bus With
A Harvard study tracked the lives of 7,000 people over 9 years. Researchers found the most isolated people were 3 times more likely to die than those with strong relational connections.
Ironically, people who practiced bad health habits (such as smoking, unhealthy eating, were obese or abused alcohol) but had strong social ties lived significantly longer than people who had great health habits but were isolated.
Harvard researcher Robert Putnam notes that if you belong to no groups but decide to join one, “You cut your risk of dying over the next year in half.”
King Solomon, who was given the gift of wisdom, wrote, “By yourself, you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.”
Yet, having deep, authentic friendships is not necessarily an easy gift to acquire. It seems to me that a lot of so-called friendships are really relationships based on convenience and lack a deep sense of commitment.
Oprah Winfrey once said, “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
If I may quote Mary Alice from that highly intellectual and world changing show, “Desperate Housewives”, “Human beings are designed for many things. Loneliness isn’t one of them.”
The feeling of loneliness or abandonment is a very powerful emotion and is becoming an epidemic in our fast paced, self-focused culture.
Mother Teresa once said, “The worst poverty of all is not hunger and sickness, but loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted.”
And I believe that is true.
It is truly miraculous what we can endure when we have the right people around us cheering us on.
And it is amazing how quickly we can get discouraged when we feel alone.
A few years ago, I got lost on the Paris subway system, and I was alone. It was not a pleasant experience. It was scary how quickly fear and frustration came upon me, as I tried to ask directions in a language I was not good at. As my fear continued to rise, I watched myself getting more and more lost.
Being lost on the Paris subway system would have been a much different experience if I would have been with a friend. It would have been more of an adventure than a crisis. More of an education about how to get around Paris than a panicked mind-numbing search on how to get back to the airport!
God created human beings to do life together, helping one another, encouraging one another, teaching one another, celebrating with one another, supporting one another.
Strangely, some of the loneliest people in the world live in large cities surrounded by massive amounts of people. And some of the loneliest people are people who are popular, who look like they have it all together, who are outwardly successful leaders.
Loneliness is an interesting phenomenon, because loneliness does not come from being alone.
Loneliness comes from not having deep friendships where you can share your joys, pains, frustrations, questions and dreams.
QUESTION:
Is there anyone in your life that knows all about you?
Is there anyone in your life where you can be totally transparent and vulnerable?
Who do you go to when you have a bad day?
There is an American Indian Proverb which says, “He who would do great things should not attempt them all alone.”
How do we find and develop good friends:
1) Choose to not isolate
2) Serve with people
3) Be a friend
4) Stay away from negative people
5) Make hanging with good people a lifestyle
Albert Schwitzer once said, “In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”
Who is that person who would ride the bus with you?
According to research, it’s a matter of life and death.