Hurry & Scurry Puts You Further Behind
The conditions of modern-day living are fascinating.
If you are homeless, we try to find you shelter.
If you are penniless, we try to find you resources.
If you are breathless, we try to find you oxygen.
But if you are busy, we give you yet one more thing to do.
A recent article in USA Today observed, “Today, people are souped-up, stressed out and overscheduled. In this brave new world of Covid, where people are working at home and schooling at home, boundaries between work, play, family and rest are disappearing. Every moment of the day we have access and are accessible to the entire world. This pressure cooker lifestyle is not new, but it’s just intensified and anthropologists are now studying how this 24/7 connection and the blur of boundaries will affect us.”
This busyness in modern-day living is not new to Covid.
When my son was in Jr. Hi, he had an afternoon basketball game about 20 minutes from where I worked. I was deeply committed, like my dad did with me, to make all of his sporting events.
My day had been very stressful and busy. Strategy meetings. Staff meetings. Meetings. Meetings. Meetings.
My son’s game was at 3:30 and my whole day had consisted of getting everything done as early as possible so I would not be late.
As I was working, my computer said it was 3pm, so I picked up my stuff and left my office feeling good I was on time. Low stress. A smile on my face.
I had a few discussions with people on the way out, answered a few questions which slowed me down, but even so, I knew I was getting out to my car no later than 3:10pm, which still gave me 20 minutes to get to the game. My stress level had risen a little, but I loved the challenge and the adrenaline rush of having to get somewhere fast.
As I jumped in my car, I looked at the time and it said 3:20pm. I had forgotten my computer clock in my office was 10 minutes slow. My stress rose to an unhealthy but familiar level.
I pulled out of the parking lot, and in all my brilliance, decided to take a back road thinking it would be a short cut.
About a mile into my short cut, I came upon a school bus where every 100 yards was stopping with its red lights flashing. I could read the sign on the back of the bus which said, “Stop when the red lights are flashing. Do not pass. Don’t even think about it, even if you are late to your son’s basketball game or you will be hauled to prison and flogged.”
My blood pressure, at this point, had increased significantly and my heart was pumping hard. It was like a power washer, cleaning all the plaque off my arteries. If I didn’t die of a heart attack, the plague removal would add 10 years to my life.
Finally, with the skills of Mario Andretti, I passed the bus while it was moving and the red lights were off. I looked at the time and I was still a good 15 minutes away. It was now 3:27pm. My brain was pounding.
But the good news was nobody was in front of me and I was loving hearing the sound of my tires squealing around the corners.
As I looked down to see how fast I was going, my eyes happened to glance down at the fuel gauge. My wife had had the car all week and strangely that morning she wanted me to drive the car. At this moment, I understood why.
The car was below empty. I couldn’t even see the gauge. It was below the dash. Panic set in. I was sweating profusely. My feelings for my lovely, amazingly beautiful wife were feelings that will get you sent to the electric chair.
A mile ahead there was a gas station so I slid my car into a stall like a nascar driver coming in for a pit stop and started pumping gas. I didn’t have time to fill it up, so against everything which was within me, against all of my core beliefs, I only put 5 dollars in. When I was done, I jumped in through the window like Bo and Luke on the Dukes of Hazzard, yelled yee-haw and sped down the road. I was so stressed I could barely breathe. I was ready to hurt anyone in my way!
I finally made it to the school my son’s game was at, pulled a little too quickly into the parking lot ignoring the numerous “Drive Slow, School Zone” signs. My peripheral vision took me to the school sign and realized I was at the wrong school. I passed away right there!
I was 20 minutes late! I was at the wrong school! A nice young man was walking past my car, probably in 7th or 8th grade, and unfortunately for him he had made eye contact with me and was looking a little scared. I rolled down my window and with all the elegance I could muster up yelled, “Hey buddy, YOU are going to tell me where Marina Village Jr. High School is!!”
As the frightened young man was backing away from my car wondering where I had escaped from, he pointed north. I took off, saying thank you, but my window was already up and I was already 100 yards away.
I finally pulled into the right school, jumped out of my car, ran to the gym and burst through the doors. While I told the Parent Club mom who was selling candy bars to put a cork in it, I looked across the gym and there’s my son’s team, still warming up.
Unbelievable! Apparently everybody’s running late today. I took a deep breath. As I walked to take a seat in the bleachers I could see my precious, lovely gasoline-challenged wife talking cheerfully to other mothers. All kinds of things were racing through my mind but I began repeating “Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go.”
By the time I climbed the bleachers and sat next to her, I was calm. Feeling good. I was breathing again.
And then she asked me the fatal question, “Hey sweetie, what did you do today?”
And like a man totally unhinged, I burst out, “The question is, what did YOU do today? Did you take out more life insurance on me and give me the car where you were sure I was going to run out of gas and have a heart attack on the side of the road. Why are you trying to kill me? What did I ever do to you? What did I do to deserve this?”
The parents around us, slowly and cautiously, started moving away.
I don’t even remember my son’s game that day. I only remember I behaved embarrassingly. I was tired. I was frustrated. I realized I had been living a marginless life.
Because of marginless living I was losing the war on stress. I was losing my joy. I was losing the ability to be present in the most important moments of life. My marginless living was sacrificing relationships and ultimately preventing me from hearing the voice of God.
Proverbs 21:5 says, “Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run. Hurry and scurry puts you further behind.”
I needed a new game plan.
Stress will alway be something we have to manage and plan for. As author Richard Trubo writes, “Death and taxes aren’t the only sure things anymore. Stress has become a monsterous force in 21st century living.”
That evening I put together a plan to fight marginless living. I wanted a life that would stand up against stress, experience more joy and be fully present with the relationships which matter. I have not done it perfectly, but looking back, this new game plan has worked and I am re-upping on this plan as our world moves at a faster and more frenetic pace.
Without too much detail, these are the three practices I put into my anti-stress plan:
1. I will cease the constant push for more.
The starting point here is to become content with who you are and what you have. As King Solomon said, “It is better to have only a little with peace of mind than be busy all the time.”
Simply said, if you are not happy with what you have today then you’re not going to be happy with what you get tomorrow because today you’re not happy with what you were striving for yesterday.
2. I will commit to the discipline of saying, “No”.
Most of us have a speech problem. When we go to say, “No”, what comes out is “Yes”.
As the wise proverb says, “An impulsive vow is a trap. Later you wish you could get out of it.”
3. I will comply with the fourth commandment.
The fourth commandment is about rest: Physical rest. Emotional rest. Spiritual rest.
“You have six days in which to do your work, but the seventh day is a day of rest dedicated to Me.” Exodus 20:9-10
This may be the most violated commandment in our culture.
During the French Revolution they outlawed Sunday as a day of rest. They wanted more production from the people. Within a few years they had to reinstate the law because the health of the nation had totally collapsed.
Not perfectly, but with fair success, I have lived out this anti-stress plan, putting these 3 practices into play. Because of this commitment I made 15 or so years ago, I have had so many more deep memories of times with my son and daughter. Times with family. Memories of being fully present. Memories of laughter. Memories of my children looking to me for wisdom. Memories of listening. Memories of smiles. Memories of dance recitals and endless basketball games. Memories which cannot be taken away.
A surprising recent survey found the #1 desire of children is not that their parents would spend more time with them. Everyone assumed that would be the #1 answer.
The #1 desire of children is they want their parents to be less stressed, less worried, less busy and less tired. Studies have shown stressed out, hurried parents create stressed out, hurried children.
Let us pray this prayer as often as we need it, “Slow me down Lord. Ease the pounding of my heart by the quieting of my mind. Steady my hurried pace with the vision of the eternal reach of time. Give me amidst the confusion of my days the calmness of the everlasting hills. Break the tension of my nerves with the soothing music of the singing streams that live in my memory. Help me to know the restoring power of sleep. Teach me the art of taking minute vacations of slowing down to look at a flower, pet a dog, chat with an old friend or make a new one. To watch a spider spin a web or smile at a child or read a few lines from a good book. Remind me each day the race is not always for the swift and there is more to life than increasing its speed. Let me look upwards through the branches of a towering oak and know it grew great and strong because it grew slowly and well. Slow me down Lord, so that I will experience the gift of the present. The gift of Grace. The gift of YOU. Amen.”